Taking My Own Advice
I don’t ever claim to be perfect. I do, however, promise to practice what I preach.
Nixing a bad habit is no small feat. That’s why I believe it’s so important to celebrate every small win.
As my clients work to eliminate bad habits (scrolling, overeating, gossiping, binge-watching tv), I actively look for the small wins. Sometimes, we’re so close to our own problem that we hardly notice when we are making progress towards our goal. This is the best part of my job: Highlighting the evidence that my clients can in fact quit that habit.
When you work to eliminate a bad habit, it’s not the habit itself that defines you. What defines you is the person you need to become in order to break that habit.
Becoming someone who doesn’t binge eat?
Yes - that’s amazing.
But becoming someone who can actually recognize, process and manage their own emotions?
Now that’s worth its weight in gold.
The truth is, even though I can coach others on how to stop overeating..
I still do it from time to time.
But my experience of overeating is so much different than it was years ago.
Five years ago, I’d berate myself with some brutal self talk. I’d convince myself I needed to either workout more or eat less. I’d clock extra hours at the office because work was the only place I felt I could do something right. I wouldn’t let myself buy new clothes because I didn’t believe my body was worth spending money on.
I wasn’t a great friend to myself.
… but thankfully, I’ve spent the last five years learning how to be a better friend.
I overate today.
The reality is I’ll likely overeat again sometime in the future. But rather than punish and shame myself, I am far more compassionate and curious with myself.
Today, I did not hide my choices. I sent my husband a message, told him I’m in a delicate spot today and asked for assistance. I lit a candle, pulled out my journal and decided to figure out what’s actually going on.
I am being an excellent friend to myself.
To my clients: Yes. I can help you stop that nasty habit. But to end it once and for all? No. I cannot do that. I am here to show you how to be an amazing friend to yourself.
Our bad habits will resurface from time to time. If we’re open to it, these habits can become beautiful indicators that there is something going on in our inner world that needs attention. Learning to be your own best friend is a skill. The good news is, once you have this skill - you will never have to face these tricky habits alone.
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